Self love is a lifelong journey that every single one of us is on. And yet, loving ourselves often feels completely alien. When really, it should come as naturally as breathing, sleeping or laughing. So why is it so hard?
For some reason, we love to be our own biggest critic. We disregard our own needs to help others. We feel the need to justify everything we do. We neglect ourselves, forget what matters to us and fill the gaps with negative self talk.
It is time to stop. It is time to start treating yourself the way you would treat someone you love, because you are someone you love. The only home, the only person and the only love you are guaranteed in this lifetime is your own. Start taking that seriously.
Here are five simple practices to weave into your everyday life that will help shift your self perception from negative to positive.
1. Mirror Time 🪞
This one might feel a little silly, but stay with us. Spend time looking at yourself in the mirror every day. Not critically, but lovingly.
We have been told that liking the way we look is vain. That is simply not true. Appreciating your appearance does not come from ego. It comes from love. Most of the time, we only glance in the mirror to check we look "okay" before heading out the door. Try changing that.
Start actually looking at yourself. No judgement, just observation. Find something you love every day: the way your hair sits, the way your outfit feels, how your skin looks today. You should be encouraged to feel confident in your own skin. Start now.
2. Watch How You Speak About Others 🗣️
You might be wondering what this has to do with your relationship with yourself. It has everything to do with it.
When you constantly speak badly about others, you send signals to your brain that this is normal behaviour. Over time, your thought patterns become more judgemental, not just towards others, but towards yourself too. If you paint the outside world as negative, it will sour your inner world as well.
Gossiping should be a no regardless, but if you need one more reason to stop, here it is. Every time you speak badly about someone else, you are telling your subconscious that people speak about you the same way.
3. Make Promises to Yourself and Keep Them 🤝
One of the biggest reasons we hold a negative image of ourselves is that we do not respect ourselves the way we respect others. If your boss asked you to finish a project by 7pm, you would do it without question. But when you tell yourself you will start walking to work instead of driving? You find an excuse by Tuesday.
This happens because there is no one holding us accountable. But that needs to change. Start showing up for yourself the way you would show up for a colleague or a loved one. Join the run club. Read ten pages. Whatever the promise is that you keep making to yourself, keep it. Your self image will shift the moment you start.
4. Allow Yourself Time to Feel 💛
Self love and self acceptance go hand in hand. Stop brushing your thoughts and feelings aside. Allow yourself to sit in whatever emotion is present right now.
When we bottle things up, they grow bigger and affect us more deeply. Self love is unconditional, it means loving all parts of yourself, including the messy, uncomfortable parts. Have a cry. Get angry. Be present. Your feelings will teach you more about yourself than anything else, and that understanding will slowly change the way you see yourself.
5. Give Back to Your Physical Body 🧘♀️
Giving back to your body is giving back to your mind. Start viewing movement as a privilege rather than a punishment, and begin exercising in ways that make you feel good rather than just look good, your entire self image will shift.
Sometimes you simply need a change of scenery. Get outside and move. For us, that is yoga. When we connect with the body on the mat and notice how each pose feels, you feel a genuine love for yourself that nothing else replicates. Your body is yours for life. Look after it, and it will look after you. 🩷